


Safe

by skargasm



Series: Taming the Muse [31]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, LJ Prompt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2352752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started because he made him feel safe......</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

It was snug and warm beneath the duvet, the light curtains making it possible to see the sun just beginning to rise. He watched sleepily as a light breeze shook the tree that grew just outside the house, crisp golden brown and bronze leaves drifting gently to the ground. Fall was a beautiful season and it was so very peaceful, not something he had ever expected to have in his lifetime. Although, this wasn’t really his lifetime—this was a gift, a new chance, a new life. 

The pressure of a heavy arm around his waist and a firm hand pressed against his stomach told him that he was going to have to get up to use the bathroom soon—pesky human needs that he hadn’t experienced for over a century now something he had to consider. He wasn’t sure it would ever become mundane and normal to him. Things like breathing, eating, pissing—things that others did as a matter of course but that were still strange to him. 

He should have resented it—he had never wanted to become a real boy, it had never been his desire. That had always been Angel’s shtick. He hadn’t repented so much as accepted the bad things he had done and realized that he would never be able to undo them. What was it that girl had said in the movie he’d been dragged to see? Oh yeah, the Black Widow—she had red in her ledger and she wanted to wipe it clean. He had so much red in his ledger, it would take too many lifetimes to wipe it clean—maybe saving the world counted for a lot? It seemed like it anyway.

It had counted for a lot with his friends and family. Because that is what he had now—friends and family. And a partner, a lover, someone who believed in him and wanted to be with him—clear ledger or no. It was strange—out of all of them, Xander had the most to hate him for personally. Anya—Buffy—hell, just the time he had lived in the disgusting basement. But he was also the one who understood the most. Xander was the one who got it when a drunken conversation about being conned into thinking he was a champion had made him feel almost worthless and superfluous; understood the mixed feelings towards Angel and everything he represented; Xander who took a very human Spike under his wing when the dust settled after the Black Thorn and he found himself breathing, bleeding and very much a human.

It was Xander who was there for him when he started sleepwalking, sometimes just sitting next to him through most of the night to keep him safe. Safe. Maybe that was how it really all began—Xander made him feel safe in a world where he could get hurt by the simplest things just because he forgot he wasn’t a vampire. Xander who came with him on long rambling walks in the sunshine; Xander who tested the various restaurants to find the tastiest meals for his questing palate; Xander who always found the time to sit and talk to Spike about the memories that sometimes overtook his human mind. 

Safe. 

“What’s going through that brain of yours? I can practically hear the cogs turning and it’s stopping me from sleeping.” The dark rumble sent puffs of air against the back of his neck, the arm around his waist tightening as Xander shifted behind him to get closer. 

“Just thinking about how you make me feel.”

“Feel? Or _feel_?” A gentle thrust of his hips and he could feel Xander’s morning erection pressing against his arse, making him grin. 

“Pervert. Just—you make me feel safe. Not had that much in my lifetime—previous lifetime. It’s nice.” A moment’s silence, then Xander pulled him gently closer still.

“I can handle nice.”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> A little bit of nothing to start off Fall for Spike and Xander - come and join in the fun!


End file.
